The weather might be getting colder, but that is not stopping all of the sweat stained t-shirts being spotted on college campuses nationwide. The holiday season is fast approaching, a time to celebrate, avoid relatives, and eat excessive amounts of food and only feel mildly bad about it the next day. But as the holiday season grows closer, another event comes with it. An event that is far more stressful and terrifying than having to tell your aunts and uncles for the nineteenth year in a row that no, you are not in a relationship.
Obviously that hasn’t happened to me.
Obviously.
…
Anyway I’m talking about Finals Week.
This picture gives me life. 10/10.
In college, Finals Week is the breaking point. It’s your last chance in the semester to save your grade in one, two, or maybe even all of your classes. There is blood, sweat, and mostly tears shed throughout the duration of this week every semester. College students nationwide desperately cram in an attempt to learn everything they didn’t learn in class because they were too busy taking Buzzfeed quizzes in class, sacrificing the sleep that they need in order to appropriately function in society.
But this isn’t society, this is college.
You’ll sleep when you graduate and pay off all of your student loans.
Or when you’re dead. Whichever one happens first.
To help make this semester’s Finals Week a little bit more bearable, here are some tips to get you through this life scaring, traumatizing week:
1. Study in Advance
If you take the time to study the few weeks prior to Finals Week, it will be substantially less stressful for you. This way, you can break up all of the chapters you need to review so you don’t have to do them all at once. Who knows, you might actually learn something neat.
2. Plan Out Your Week
Nothing says stress like a busy schedule! By planning out when and where all of your finals are, you will be able to sleep a lot better at night.
3. Get a lot of Sleep
Speaking of sleep, make sure you get plenty of sleep during Finals Week and the weeks before it. Strive to get at least eight hours of sleep a night. It might be difficult at first, but trust me it will be worth it.
4. Become a Successful Drug Dealer
Another thing that causes a lot of people stress during Finals Week are financial burdens. In order to study more, you are more likely than not going to have to cut back on your hours at your part time job. However, as a successful drug dealer you will never have to worry about cutting back your hours at your job, your job is a part of you now. So just sit back and relax as the greens come in, and the greens go out.
5. Join a Violent Gang
If studying becomes too much to handle, join a gang! These crafty men and women will make sure that you get A’s on all of your finals. If a few people are hurt in the process, don’t worry! It’s probably not even your fault.
Probably.
6. Enter the Witness Protection Program
Next thing you know, your name is Susan Winters and you have cut off all of your glorious hair while you are being forced onto a shady aircraft taking you to an unknown, but safe location. Don’t worry, the finals can’t touch you now Susan.
7. Cry.
This is probably going to happen either way. Mental breakdowns are quite common during Finals Week. Succumb to the pain. Let the tears overtake you until your professors are drowning in your sorrows. No finals are distributed due to floods. You did it. You’re a hero. You are a beacon of light after a deadly storm. Just like Hilary Duff once said, “Let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams”, let those tears fall down. Do it for Hilary.
I hope these tips help make your Finals Weeks a little bit more bearable, I know I’m going to follow every single one of these tips because that’s the only way I’m going to survive.
Well maybe not all of them.
I don’t sleep very much.
-Poof
HeyPoofy 