Haikus From a Random Wednesday Morning

I could start this blog post with a list of excuses as to why I haven’t been writing. I could go on and on about how busy my schedule is, I could tell you a sob story about how my life is slowly falling apart, or I could tell you how my internet at my apartment only works every once and while. All of which are accurate, but they are also considerably irrelevant to your daily life. So here are some haikus instead:

wow blankets are warm
hmmmmmm can i just sleep all day?
wake up class starts soon

my alarm is ducks
QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK HONK QUACK
i must hate myself

class starts in twenty
not enough time to shower
i am a sex god

no frost today yes
i can just drive to my doom
i really love school

why is it still cold
my nip naps are unhappy
nippy nippy nap

thought i heard my name
*turns around to kid i hate*
*walks away faster*

why are we playing
jeopardy in class today
are we twelve like what

jeopardy makes me
really mad at the human
race. no nice things here

review sessions make
me feel like i know nothing
midterm here i come

hello library
how are you today? oh me?
i only cried once!!!!

I always try to
study at the library
but i never do

spotify is great
right now i’m listening to
disney music yes

pocahontas yes
JUST AROUND THE RIVER BEND
NOSTALGIC FEELINGS

preparing myself
for my adventure outside
someone hold me please

why are there balloons?????
balloons are so neat yes yes
fun plastic and air

SEE BALLOONS. THE INSTAGRAM FILTER IS NASHVILLE IF YOU WERE CURIOUS.

OH MY GOD BALLOONS
THEY ARE MAKING THEM RAIN AH
HOW BEAUTIFUL WOW

i found balloon friend
he is red and a nugget
*balloon pops in hands*

leftover perkins
this is all you have to say
to make me love you

yes i have HASHBROWNS
*cries on hashbrowns for more salt*
that’s so much better

-Poof

Haikus: The Best Form of Expression

Sometimes at work I find myself with time to spare. Instead of sitting around wasting my time, I do something far more productive: write haikus.

haikus have really changed my life guys.

Here are some haikus from last night:

boss told me to text

but i’m not about that life

haikus are better

why does it always

smell like rotten chicken like

i can not even

ouch the water burns

so hawt so so hawt hawt hawt

bye bye fragile flesh

i’m not sure what’s worse

the poignant smell of chicken,

or scent of burnt flesh

where is everyone?

oh they are outside smoking

third time today sigh

if i hear ‘cup song’

one more time i will have to

cut someone close by

co workers are now

discussing the price of crocs

i hate everyone

oh no not again

plates stained with alfredo sauce

this is why i cry

but where is your house…?

i do not understand why

you would mislead me

eight dollar tip nice!

wow i don’t know what to say

thank you customer

dear girl that only

gave me seventy-five cents

keep the change my ass

#poofproblems

-Poof