A little over a year ago was the beginning, the beginning of a force so powerful that no one could have seen it coming. People all over the internet surfed away from their mundane social media websites to view the start of a new era: the birth of HeyPoofy.wordpress.com.
Wow writing that down not only makes me look pretentious, but it also makes me look incredibly insignificant.
Classic.
Anyway so I was thinking how I should celebrate this past year of awkward situations, cool stories, and mental breakdowns in one blog post. Then it hit me.
I have never actually written an about me post.
You all have been following this blog for over a year now and some of you don’t know any basic facts about me. Well, aside from the fact that I have uncontrollable hair and I enjoy burning poptarts in the senior foods room.
So every year I am going to acquire random questions from my peers and followers, and I will pick the most awkward, uncomfortable, insightful, and just plain weird questions and answer them here. So without any more hesitation, let me introduce myself:
Emily D: When and where was the first time you gargled a liquid, and why did you decide to do it at that time?
The first time I remember gargling a liquid, that I remember at least was probably when I was six or seven. My dad was running late for work when I walked by his door as he frantically took a swig of mouthwash.
“Dad what’s that?” I stated as my dad swiftly gargled the mouthwash and spit it out in the sink.
“Oh it’s just something that will make sure that people will talk to me at work, have a good day!”
He dropped the mouthwash on the counter and hustled out the door. For the majority of my young life, and lets face it still today, I have always had trouble interacting with other people. When my dad said that this so called magical drink helped him talk to people at work, I couldn’t help but stare at it with complete adoration. I snatched up the mysterious drink and took a swig just like my father did. I gargled and gargled but I didn’t feel any more socially acceptable.
But then it hit me.
The incredible burning sensation from the alcoholic mouthwash overcame me with a powerful punch. I continued to gargle until I felt tears stream down my face. Soon, mouthwash began to spew from my little mouth until all of the mouthwash was on my dads bathroom floor. The minty smell attracted my mother to the source of my mess with a disappointed look on her face.
So needless to say I didn’t try gargling mouthwash for a few more years.
Mitch B: What is your favorite kind of textile?
What.
Mitch B: What kind of people are you afraid of or uncomfortable around?
Well I wouldn’t say that I am afraid of any type of person…
…but I am terrified of people that are adults still in their awkward middle school phase.
I’m not uncomfortable around middle schoolers though, because I understand. I understand that it is just a phase, we have all been there. We all have woken up some morning looked at ourselves in the mirror and thought, “since when did I own Hollister pajamas?” or “My eye liner literally looks like a raccoon. Oh and it doesn’t even match my…bright blue…eye shadow”.
I was even fine with it in high school when I smelled out the Ax body spray in the hallways and saw the extreme teenage angst exhibited on some peoples faces. It was ok. We were still kids. They had time to figure it out before going to college or starting their lives.
But when I see kids on my college campus who give me flashbacks to middle school, I can not even give these people eye contact because of how terrified I am of having a middle school flashback.
If you have never experienced one of these flashbacks, consider yourself lucky because it a nostalgia that no one can enjoy.
No one.
Andie C: When was the last time you drank a glass of milk?
Wednesday April 16, 2014 at 5:42 pm. I also had a snicker-doodle cookie if you were curious.
Angie H: The most normal thing about you?
This question actually took me a while to figure out. It turns out I am actually a pretty abnormal person. I would have to say that the most normal things about me is that I brush my teeth twice a day. Once when I wake up and once before I go to bed.
Wow I’m such a catch, hit me up boys I’m single.
On a more serious note I would like to thank each and everyone of you for sticking with me the past year. Writing is something I truly enjoy and I really appreciate all of your support. I hope you all stick around for another year of “poof problems”.
Less than three.
-Poof
HeyPoofy 